How to Start a Kindness Tree or Jar at Home
Summer gives us a beautiful opportunity to pause, slow down, and lean into connection. The rush of the school year takes a back seat, and suddenly there’s more room for popsicles on the porch, splash days, and family time that feels a little lighter. It’s also the perfect time to plant seeds of kindness and watch them grow—literally and figuratively.
 
At Las Colinas Children’s Academy, we talk a lot about social-emotional development and how important it is to notice and reinforce kind, helpful behaviors. The truth is, children are always watching. They’re soaking in everything from how we respond to conflict to how we treat others. And when we start highlighting the good things they do—especially the moments of kindness, they begin to see themselves as kind, capable, and connected human beings.
 
One of the easiest ways to do this at home is by creating a Kindness Tree or Kindness Jar.
 
Why It Matters: The Science Behind Noticing Goodness
Kindness is more than being nice. It’s a learned skill that’s built over time through repetition, modeling, and feedback. When we notice and name kind behaviors in the moment, we’re helping our child’s brain make powerful connections. We’re literally building neural pathways that support empathy, self-regulation, and prosocial behavior.
 
Research shows that positive reinforcement—especially when it’s specific and sincere—can strengthen a child’s identity and increase the likelihood they’ll repeat those behaviors (Eisenberg et al., 2006). For example, saying, “You helped your sister when she was sad. That was so thoughtful,” sends a much stronger message than a simple “Good job.”
 
Children thrive on feeling useful and included. When we consistently point out their helpfulness or caring actions, we shift the focus from “catching bad behavior” to celebrating who they are becoming.
 
That’s the heart behind the Kindness Tree and Kindness Jar. They’re visual, interactive ways to build a culture of compassion—right in your living room.
 
The Kindness Tree: Watch Your Family’s Kindness Grow
The Kindness Tree is exactly what it sounds like—a tree you create at home where you “grow” kindness by adding leaves, hearts, or flowers each time someone does something thoughtful.
 
How to Make It:

• Draw a big tree on poster board or tape one to the wall with paper.
• Cut out shapes like leaves, hearts, flowers, or stars.
• Every time someone shows kindness, write it on a shape and add it to the tree.
• Watch it fill up with everyday moments of love and care.

What counts as kindness? Everything from helping with chores to comforting a sibling, giving someone a turn, or saying something encouraging. The small moments are the big ones.
 
You can even involve the whole family by adding kindness leaves for grown-ups too! “Dad helped clean up dinner without being asked,” or “Mom gave me extra snuggles when I had a hard day.”
 
 
The Kindness Jar: Filling Hearts with Simple Moments
If you’re short on wall space or just want a hands-on option, the Kindness Jar is a great choice. It’s a clear jar (or even a cup or vase) you fill with tokens each time someone in the family does something kind.
 
Here’s what you’ll need:

• A clear jar, container, or cup.
• Paper hearts, pom-poms, cotton balls, or colorful buttons.
• A space to keep it visible—like the kitchen counter or family shelf.

 
Each time your child does something kind, they add a heart to the jar. As the jar fills up, it becomes a beautiful, visual reminder of the love and goodness your family is putting into the world.
 
Once it’s full, celebrate together! It doesn’t have to be fancy—maybe a family ice cream night, a trip to the park, or a favorite movie with popcorn. The celebration isn’t the goal—it’s just a way to honor the growth you’re seeing.
 
The LCCA Connection: Why This Aligns With What We Do
At LCCA, we use the Conscious Discipline approach, which means we focus on helping children feel safe, seen, and connected. That’s when true learning—and lasting behavior change—can happen. Rather than focusing only on “fixing” negative behavior, we take time to teach the behaviors we want to see and model emotional regulation, empathy, and cooperation.
Creating a kindness tree or jar at home mirrors what we do in our classrooms. It creates a warm, predictable structure that helps kids practice kindness, build a healthy self-image, and contribute to the family in meaningful ways.
And it’s not just for young children! Even older siblings benefit from having their positive actions noticed and appreciated.
 
Simple Tips to Make It Work
Be Specific: Instead of saying “That was nice,” try “You helped your sister zip her coat without being asked. That showed real kindness.”
Be Consistent: Try to add something every day or talk about it during bedtime or dinner.
Let Them Take the Lead: Encourage your child to suggest what kindness they saw or felt that day. You might be surprised what they notice!
Celebrate the Effort: It’s not about perfection. Even trying to be kind deserves a heart or a leaf.
 
What If My Child Isn’t Interested?
That’s okay! This shouldn’t feel like homework or pressure. If your child doesn’t seem into it at first, keep modeling it yourself. Add kindness leaves for yourself or for them when they don’t expect it. “You shared your snack without even thinking—look, I’m adding a kindness heart for that.”
 
When kids see that it’s part of the family culture—not a reward system—they’re more likely to warm up to it naturally.
 
We’d Love to See Your Kindness in Action
If your family creates a Kindness Tree or Jar, we’d love to see it! Snap a picture and send it our way, or tag us on social media. We may even share your family’s kindness in our next newsletter to inspire others.
 
Let’s make this summer not just fun—but meaningful. Let’s raise kids who notice others, speak gently, and grow in empathy and care. And let’s do it one heart at a time. 💕

At Las Colinas Children’s Academy, we believe in recognizing the everyday victories that shape a child’s development. Whether it’s zipping up their coat, writing their name for the first time, or showing kindness to a friend, these accomplishments matter deeply—not just in the moment, but for a child’s long-term growth.
 
Celebrating these achievements isn’t just about making children feel good. It’s a powerful tool for shaping how they view themselves, how they approach challenges, and how they build the skills they need to thrive in school and beyond.
 
🌱 Why Recognition in Early Childhood Matters
According to research in developmental psychology, the early years are a critical window for shaping a child’s sense of identity and self-efficacy—their belief in their own ability to succeed. Psychologist Albert Bandura’s concept of self-efficacy is supported by decades of research and shows that children who believe they are capable are more likely to persist through challenges and try new things.
 
When adults celebrate accomplishments in ways that are supportive and specific, they reinforce this belief. The message becomes: “You did this! You are capable!”
 
In fact, research published in the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology emphasizes that when young children receive meaningful feedback that focuses on effort and strategy (rather than just the outcome), they are more likely to develop a growth mindset—a belief that their abilities can grow with effort and time (Mueller & Dweck, 1998).
 
🧠 Not All Praise is Equal: The Power of “Process Praise”
It’s common to hear children praised with “Good job!” or “You’re so smart!”—and while these comments come from a place of love, they don’t always have the positive impact we hope for.
 
Carol Dweck’s research on motivation and learning shows that “person praise” (e.g., “You’re so smart”) can actually lead children to fear failure and avoid challenges. In contrast, “process praise” (e.g., “You worked so hard on that puzzle!”) helps children see that effort, not innate talent, leads to success.
 
Examples of effective process praise:

• “You kept trying even when it got tricky!”
• “You used such good thinking to solve that problem.”
• “I noticed you helping your friend clean up—what a kind choice!”

 
This type of feedback supports intrinsic motivation, encouraging children to learn and grow for their own satisfaction rather than for external approval.
 
🎯 The Small Wins That Build Big Confidence
Young children are developing rapidly across every domain—physical, cognitive, social-emotional, and language. That means small milestones are actually major accomplishments in their world. Things like:

• Waiting their turn
• Recognizing their written name
• Expressing emotions using words
• Building a tall tower and problem-solving when it falls

 
Celebrating these small wins helps children feel seen and valued, and builds emotional resilience by reinforcing that effort is worthwhile and growth is always possible.
 
🏡 What Families Can Do at Home
The way we recognize children’s efforts at home matters just as much as it does in the classroom. Here are a few research-supported strategies families can use:

1. Be specific with praise.

Instead of “You’re amazing,” try “You worked really hard to figure that out.”

1. Celebrate effort, not perfection.

Acknowledge the trying, not just the outcome. This builds perseverance.

1. Create family rituals around recognition.

Try “Proud Moment of the Day” at dinner, or a “Look What I Did!” board on the fridge.

1. Help children reflect.

Ask, “What are you proud of today?” Reflection builds self-awareness and emotional regulation.

1. Model self-celebration.

Children learn from what we do. Say things like, “I’m proud of myself for being patient today.”
 
❤️ Connection Over Comparison
It’s easy in today’s world to get caught in the trap of comparison—especially on social media. But each child’s journey is unique, and development isn’t a race. The goal of celebrating accomplishments isn’t to highlight who is “ahead,” but to build a child’s confidence in their own growth path.
 
When we shift from performance-based praise to relationship-based encouragement, we help children internalize a deep and lasting sense of competence, safety, and connection.

In Summary:
Celebrating accomplishments isn’t just a “feel-good” strategy. It’s a research-based approach to supporting emotional development, motivation, and resilience in young children. By noticing effort, naming growth, and showing children that their actions matter, we give them the foundation to believe in themselves—and keep trying, even when things get tough.
 
At LCCA, we don’t wait for report cards or milestones to recognize growth. We celebrate the quiet triumphs, the brave attempts, and the beautiful messiness of learning. Because every step forward, no matter how small, deserves to be seen.

References:

• Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
• Mueller, C. M., & Dweck, C. S. (1998). Praise for intelligence can undermine children’s motivation and performance. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
• Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control.